THE PAIN

i walked in a busy road, yeah that's buncit 4. i was calling my mom while i walking in the side of the road, i called her to please to pick me, but.......... she couldn't pick me cause she on the way to pick my lil sist. i was understand :)

but i dissapointed about this day, everything i did is useless, my planned wasn't realize and when i wanted something... i couldn't reach that. even i try hardly. then i looked someone who could reach that easier, even she could reach that with her little finger. i know, with this text i looked like someone who don't thank to god, but i thank to god. maybe this is my way, yeah maybe it's about a lil pain, everyone have pain.

okay you might think that you are unlucky boy/girl because you couldn't get someone that you love, but... i think you re lucky than me.... you still have someone you wants, BUT I'M NOT, i don't have anyone, yeah i have my parent although they loves my lil sist and bro than me...

yeah i knew that someone ever loves me or maybe three.. but they are not the boy which i wanted. someone whom i wanted was not loves me. and i try and pray to god to delete him from my mind.. and you know... that I DID THAT , i can forget him...


i was happy............................... then after saveral day until now, i feel empty... empty, lonely. no one can i think before i sleep, no one can i think when i don't have activity.. and anything can make me fun. and i think that i don't have anyone, close friend, no one no one who close to me.

and in the way to back home, i think to close my self, i know that i can't be happy, but i should hang a smiling face infront of every one, and i don't want to think about my self, my happy ending, and everything about me, cause if i think, i 'll more sad.. and i try to make my self busy and then I FORGET ABOUT MY SELF...


i talk to no one here, and i don't want to share this update to you. whocares? lol, maybe strayed a way then you read it. maybe it the last update about my sad. then i don't want to think about it again. i want to be a good moslem and think that i'm perfect. honestly, i think i'm perfect but that because of one boy whos name N*****L
makes me feel unlucky girl. hmmm it's lebay, but i was loving one boy and no one else... but i can't get him. DAMN maybe is not about him, it's about me.... maybe my friends don't want to close to me. and so with my bestfriend, i think that her wants to leave me and she wants to have a new one bff... and i understand, that is because of me tooo.. i can't make them happy when them with me. i can't make a joke, i'm not smart and etc. i saw that when i went to met them, then they go without me.

i'm thinking about i have to be alone and do everything alone, or i can and try to make everyone happy.. yeaah i choose the second think..

one thing i should to remember, if i can't be happy.. i can make someone happy,
yeah that's why i can hang a smile in my face.